friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.
No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.
during a quidditch game the Ravenclaw announcer narrates “and the seeker’s taking a dive, he’s turning down, can he-” before a muggleborn darts in and yells “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT” into the mic and every muggleborn in the entire arena loses their minds
"oh an excellent-" another muggleborn grabs the mic and yells "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOT SHOT SHOTS! EVERYBODY!!" and there is no hope of recovering the crowd of dancing muggleborns after that